It's nearly THAT time of year again. We've only just recovered from the Christmas naysayers, and it's now time for people (probably the same people) to start telling us that Valentines Day is a pointless commercial holiday constructed by Joe Corporate to waste our time and money.
I'll tell you five solid reasons why you should be celebrating Valentines Day this year. I've largely aimed my points at men, because I'm a hetrosexual woman, but these points stand for just about everyone, simply exchange gender/animal/blow up doll where it suits.
1. To Conform. That's right, to bloody conform. No one likes being told what to do, but when your woman has to listen to her friends and family telling her about their own Valentines Day romance, no amount of logic on your part about not having to conform to societal norms is going to stop the average woman from feeling somewhat neglected. Especially if you're not exactly Valentino the rest of the year either.
2. To Observe A Romance Alert. Now the sort of man who claims that Valentines Day is a dreadful commercial holiday constructed by corporations to make yet more money, also tends to point out that romance can be celebrated all year round and not just on this day and thus he has no good reason to observe the tradition.
Nice idea champ, but I'm betting that if you are over 5 years into your relationship, your idealism crown and indeed romantic habits have begun to slip. A yearly reminder is a good thing that you should appreciate rather than shun in a wave of rather grandioise notions that despite being the average forgetful man you will somehow remember to romance your lady year round anyway.
I wager that it's only around 1% of men (statistics manufactured from my mind with zero scientific evidence) who don't need a yearly reminder, so stop kidding yourself and observe the holiday as it's probably the only romance she's getting this year.
3. Love Is All Around Us. Love is all around us, and I'm not just saying that because I watched Love Actually on Christmas Day, it really is. As extoled by this relatively new Christmas movie classic, love comes in many forms, not just romantic love only. I always remember my best friend at school telling me that her nan sent her a Valentines card every year without fail, I thought that incredibly sweet gesture - Valentines offers a great opportunity to make gestures like this.
A more recent example of grand Valentines gestures was my ex husband of several years at the time, making an amazing gesture for me while I dealt with the pain of a relationship break up just before Valentines Day.
He let himself into my house to fetch our children as he often did, and while I was upstairs feeling sorry for myself he left the house with the kids but still being my best friend of 20 years, he popped a bottle of sparkly and a Valentines card on the stairs for me.
I came downstairs an hour later, all alone and morose and I spotted the offering - I was taken aback by the beauty of the gesture, indeed I definitely shed a tear.
No romance, nothing between us any more but friendship and two parents raising their darling children together, but if that's isn't true love I don't know what is.
4. Because Men Enjoy Romance Too. Though romance often isn't at the forefront of the average man's mind, few men don't geniunely enjoy romantic moments in time (and indeed gifts!).
Does it really hurt if there is a time of year that we can all work towards to try and romance our partner as best we can. If we don't set a day to make such efforts, in long term relationships sometimes the required effort can get put on the backburner year after year.
It's arrogant to assume you won't 'become the same as everyone else', because I assure you, nothing is more likely. Reminders complete with societal pressure, are a good thing, not a bad thing.
5. Discard Your Spontaneity Ideals. As mentioned in point 4, discard the notion that romance and indeed romantic excitement should be a natural thing that just 'happens'.
It only happens that way in the early years of a relationship, after that it's about effort and planning, and you can view Valentines Day as a yearly reminder that if you haven't done anything romantic since the last Valentines Day passed by, you are way overdue and should be pulling out all the stops, because romance is important.
Indeed I think we actually should have two Valentines Days each year.
Valentines Day Resources